The life blood of our relationships is communication
3 reasons why we fail to communicate: We are tired; too angry, or just too timid.
At one of the church services I attended, our pastor shared the 20/2 principles – Talk 20 minutes to each other everyday and once a month for 2 hours connecting in one sitting. Stats tell us that we spend 3-6 hours on social media and email and only 6 minutes talking with our own children. Make it a goal to apply this 20/2 principle every day.
When there is tension talk, we need to also give permission for others to talk to us. In a relationship, we generally find that one person is a talker and the other is a thinker. As a talker, we need to allow for the the thinking to happen then allow the thinker to talk. The opposite is also true, the talker at times need to be a thinker and let the thinker do the talking. There is a tendency to default and say I need space…more time…yadah yadah... this theory leads to resentment. Talking allows us to articulate our concerns, the other person gets to hear us out and respond. Doing this will allow us to reconnect, solve issues and create stronger more meaningful relationships.
There is a saying that goes: “Peace at any price carries a high price tag indeed.” Have the courage to talk and be truthful. Often we trade truth for peace. We need to stop doing this. Leaders are in danger when they are surrounded by people who do not correct them and challenge them by telling the truth. Do not trade truth for peace… Fake is fatal!! Share the truth with love. Truth without love equals brutality. And love without truth equals Hypocrisy.
Have a look at Dale Carnegie’s eBook on Resolving Conflict, perhaps this will be of value to you.