It’s been a rough summer for me. I have been sad and feeling low for just about all of it! My mom (Rina) received a diagnosis that she has Cancer in late June early July. I mentioned to my dad I wanted to come down to South Africa (from North Carolina) and he stated positively that I should wait for mom to get better and come when we can be more mobile as a family. Upon speaking with my brothers and doing a little more digging into the cancer, I realized that I must make the most of the time she has left to live and get to her sooner rather than later. Pancreatic Cancer is swift – so we took the opportunity and aligned the trip with school vacations in South Africa so my daughters could spend time with their cousins too. It was a trip taken with intention.
The 3 weeks in August was amazing. I made a point of spending as much time with my mom as possible. Offering gentle rubs on her back as she needed, making every effort to get her to take the protein shakes with her medication and enjoying mommy time. A highlight was watching the All Blacks (New Zealand Rugby Team) lose narrowly to the Springboks (South African Rugby team) and the excitement of the game along with shouts of joy at the performance of the team. Certainly, there were also rants of frustration made at the referee. For a moment, it felt like mom was healthy and well – it was a great 80minutes of quality time. The cancer was taking its toll, and this was evident when mom asked to be supported up the stairs. When we first arrived, mom was able to get up the stairs by herself. By the time we left, she couldn’t get up the stairs without assistance. It was obvious that as strong as she was, the cancer was rapidly taking its toll.
My mom passed away on October 2nd, one week before her 74th Birthday. I am delighted that we got to spend the time we did with her in August. Those three weeks will forever be etched in my memory. I am also glad I honored her by making the trip. She always said, give me flowers while I am alive, because when I am dead, I will not be able to appreciate them. Our giving of time and being present with her has provided comfort. My mom was a formidable woman and my cousin Linda said it best – You don’t realize the subconscious impact of growing up around strong woman and Rina was just that.
As the seasons change, whether it is a season of hardship and difficulty, or abundance and joy. We need to be aware of the time we invest and the impact we can make on the lives of others. No doubt my family appreciated us being around and loved us all being together. In truth coming back for the funeral now in October made me realize that the time invested in August was soothing to my soul. It is what made the funeral more manageable for me personally and I could show up better for others. It was incredibly difficult. I assure you my conversation would have been so more different had I not made the trip in August.
I share this because time truly waits for no one! It is the time we intentionally spend with others that influences the outcomes around us. I share this with you again:
What is the Value of Time?
- Value of a Month – ask the mother of a pre-mature baby
- The Value of Week – ask the soldier heading off to battle
- The Value of a Day – ask lovers who are anxiously waiting to meet-up
- The Value of a hour – ask a paramedic at the scene of an accident
- The Value of a minute – ask the person who just missed their flight
- The Value of a Second – ask the person who swerved just in time to avoid a collision
- The Value of a of a millisecond – ask the person who won silver at the Olympic Games
Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Take the time to be kind to others, it leaves them feeling better and you will grow in the process too
As a people’s person, you will find that Neville is fit for purpose in this industry. His focus on others allows them to grow into the person that they want to be. Neville and his wife Caryn moved to Cary North Carolina in January 2021 with their three daughters and are excited to build a successful business in the USA. To work with Neville or to just have a conversation reach out and connect with him here.